I suck at making friends. There, I said it. all my life I’ve struggled to completely fit in somewhere. I’ve had difficulty making friends, and when I do finally make friends, it’s taken me years to do. In High School I jumped group to group simply because I felt like I didn’t belong in most of it. I didn’t really find my current circle of friends until midway through 10th grade, so it took me a good four years. I love them dearly, and I hope we’ll be friends for a long time to come. You see, when I make friends, I struggle a lot when those friendships fall apart, because I put so much time and effort into making friends to start with.

I’ve found that I manage to make friends a lot easier online than off. I guess I just get quite shy and self conscious when physically faced with people. Talking to people online allows me to be myself whilst avoiding the social situation that somewhat freaks me out. I’ve made some wonderful friends online, some of them I know better than people I know in real life. I love them dearly and they are kind of like family to me. Distance doesn’t matter, neither does the fact we’re all sitting behind keyboards. The emotions people feel are still real.

So, I guess I’d just like to say to all my friends out there, online and off, thanks. I’ve really needed you all this year, 2008 has been the most ridiculous year imaginable. Friends really do make things a lot easier, and always know how to make you smile when you need it. If you ever feel like i’m being too clingy, please let me know. I don’t mean it intentionally, I just want to keep the friends I do have … If that makes sense.

I’m rambling now, so I’ll move on…

In exactly a week, It will be my last evening in New Zealand until February next year. It’s really hitting me that yet again, it’s going to be three months, minimum, until I see James again. We haven’t spent this long apart since before I moved, so it’s really starting to get to me. I want to go on this trip so badly but the thought of leaving him for so long is killing me a little a lot. It’s weird, these conflicting feelings make things really confusing. I’m so excited for this holiday, but I feel bad for being so excited when I remember that I’ll be away from James for months on end.. So confusing.

Still, I am looking forward to it. It’s exactly a month until I meet Katy whilst in London! Although, the more she keeps telling me about the weather, the more I want to skip London all together. I’ve never been anywhere that cold before, so it’s certainly going to be quite a shock for me. Especially because we’ll be going from Cairo to London … hah!

I’m getting pretty stressed out. Between now and next Friday, I have so much stuff to do, including sit two exams. As well as the exams (and the study I need to do for it) I need to clean the apartment top to toe, clean out the fridge, do several loads of washing, start packing, organise autopayments of my Vodafone bill, temporarily cancel the internet… There’s more, but I totally can’t think of them right now. Holidays shouldn’t be this stressful! I’ll need a holiday from the holiday! I do have something super to look forward to next Saturday, though! Rosey has sent me a surprise package full of what she claims to be stuff from Target, and has sent it to my address in Sydney. I have suspicions that it’s a bomb. Or a sex toy of some kind. Here’s hoping my parents don’t open it.

Sorry for not blogging anything decent for a while, I’ve been so caught up with my exams. My first two exams went really well, especially because I wasn’t expecting to do very well in either of them. We’ll see how the next two go, I’ve got plenty of time to study for them, provided I don’t freak out too much about the amount of crap I have to do first.

Will blog soon, I promise!

PS: I edited my Sarah page!

sym·bi·o·sis
n. pl. sym·bi·o·ses (-sz)
1. Biology A close, prolonged association between two or more different organisms of different species that may, but does not necessarily, benefit each member.
2. A relationship of mutual benefit or dependence.

I’ve been talking to a good friend this evening about relationships, and how I feel that there’s something a little bit more than a generic relationship between James and I. Even since we first began talking years and years ago, back when I was about 13, I always felt that it was something a little bit more than a friendship. Something would push me to keep talking to him day after day. I found him extremely interesting, fun to talk to and for the first time in a while, I felt like I’d really found a friend.

I still feel like that to this day. He’s my closest friend. I tell everything to him. He knows just how to make me feel better, how to make me feel loved, how to make me smile. I can act like a complete retard in front of him and not even think twice about it. I love that he acts like a complete retard back and that we can have entire conversations in silly talk and just laugh about it.

It’s cliche, but I think he’s my soulmate. I can’t imagine my life without him - It’s just physically impossible for me. I miss him terribly even when he’s just gone to his house for the weekend. How I’d be able to cope without him I’ll never know. We really are symbiotes.

MUSHINESS ASIDE…

My foot is almost entirely healed! Yay! It’s still quite stiff in the mornings and hurts when I put a little too much pressure on it. I’m walking fine, but can’t run yet. I tried at the gym the other day and almost collapsed… Hah! The bruising has completely disappeared. It’s still a little swollen, though.

There’s only 35 days until we leave for Dubai (if my maths is correct, anyway…) - This time next month, I’ll be in Sydney, more than likely getting ridiculously drunk with my brother, cousins and friends. It’s insane just how much I’ve missed Sydney, my family and friends. I’m really looking forward to seeing them again and exploring Sydney.

My schedule between now and then is going to be ridiculously hectic. Next week is the last week of University lectures, and I have two assignments due (one worth 20%, one worth 10%) as well as a test worth about 15%. Exam leave begins the week after, and I have two exams on the 4th and 5th of November, and another two on the 13th and 14th. I also need to organise exactly what I need for my trip, possibly end up shopping for stuff that I don’t have, sort out the apartment and pack all before the 15th. In fact, I really need to do it all before the 14th, because I’ll be spending the evening of the 14th at James’s place, and heading to Sydney the day after. Busy, busy!

My belly is full of dried apricots. They’re so tasty. I’d be eating more if they weren’t so full of sugar. Pff. I’m quite peckish too.

So, I’m looking for some new books to read. Considering I’m going to be spending a ridiculous amount of time travelling the next few months, I’m really going to need some good reading material. I’ll read anything, provided that it’s descent, so I would love to hear some suggestions.

Lastly, I’m going to do some pluggage. Why? Because I can.
Firstly to my Hard-Ass Mother-Fucking Slave Driver, because without her, my recent blogs would not be a success. I’d also like to thank AllRosey who always seems to make my evenings particularly lulzy. To Chrissy and Mike who put up with my rants and provide the comic relief from real life and Reese for making things so much more aesthetically pleasing. Lastly, thank you to Pat Benatar and The Bangles for entertaining my ears for the last ten minutes, Gordon Ramsey for his incessant cursing and cooking on my television screen, and Charles Darwin - Just because.

So, it’s fairly freaking obvious how badly I fail at blogging. Quite simply, I haven’t had anything to say. Same boring shit has been happening, I still am struggling with uni, I still work a crappy job… See, I told you it wasn’t exciting.

Okay, so I did have a birthday. My 20th, to be exact. It was a few Thursdays ago, and, frankly, it was a pretty mediocre day. I got up, handed in two assignments, studied, went to the movies with James, and uhh.. Studied some more. That’s what you get for having a test the day after your Birthday, I suppose. On the plus side, James paid for a pair of prescription sunglasses for my birthday, and I had my fringe (er, bangs, to you yankies) cut.

I’ve been on mid-semester break for the past two weeks, and when I say I haven’t done anything, I really mean it. I worked two evenings last week, but even then I didn’t really do anything - Unless you could reading 250 pages of a book something, because honestly, it was that quiet. I have work again this evening and am really not looking forward to it. I’m looking forward to my double shift tomorrow even less. (Why I agreed to that, I’ll never know.) Stupidly, I’ve been putting off a report and some major study to play Spore and Neopets. Yeah, that is some serious procrastination.

I’ve got a few things to look forward to, though. I signed up for a photography competition yesterday in which Canon will send me a box of items, and I have to take creative photography with them. Even if I don’t win, It’ll certainly be fun, and help me think outside the box a little more with my photos. My cousin, Michala, is also going to participate, so I’m sure that we’ll be able to come up with some pretty decent ideas together.

I’ll try and blog soon. Hopefully I’ll have something decent to talk about. If not, I’ll make Elyse torture me until I make up something worthwhile. ;)

Well, I suppose I should finally get this blogging business done with, huh? I’ve been meaning to blog for quite a while, but I’ve simply just not known what to say.

So, Uni’s been going for the last four weeks. I’m enjoying the courses, but goodness, there is SO much work to do. I have two essays due next Thursday, and a test on Friday. I’m incredibly stressed, but I’m getting there. I’m doing a lot of genetics and evolution work this semester, which I’m super interested in, so at least I’m enjoying keeping up with the work.

I’ve been kind of sick lately too. I’ve had a cold the past week, and have also had some major pains in my abdomen for a week and a bit, which the doctor thinks is an issue with my bowel. It’d be nice if my body could start working like it’s supposed to!

In other health news, I’m back on the diet and trying really hard. I’m down to about 72kg, which is a drop of a little over 8kgs. I have at least another 12 to go. I started back up at the gym today, and I’m glad I did because I enjoyed it incredibly. I felt so good afterwards! I’ve also been doing a lot of Wii Fit lately. It’s helping so much with my flexibility: I can touch my toes now! :D

It’s my birthday next Thursday. I’m kind of freaking out a little bit. I’m turning 20, and it’s making me feel really old. Even though I’m not old in the slightest, it’s making me feel like I’ve missed something. I guess this past year has been so full of stress that I haven’t really had time to actually enjoy being 19. Hah, it sounds ridiculous but it feels like i’ve missed so much of this year!

I hope I don’t leave so much time between blogging next time. I suck at this.

And now, to keep track of things:
-Weight: 72ish kg
-Lost: 8kg
-Exercise: Wii Fit: 50 minutes, Gym: 45 minutes.

PS: JOIN US AT SEXMB!

So my first semester of my second year of uni is OVER. Gah. I don’t think I could have lasted another minute of it. I hated my courses with the passion of a thousand burning suns, and have absolutely no interest in any of them.

My first exam is the 16th of June, and my exam period ends on the 28th. That evening, I’ll be going to the bar at Uni (”Shadows”) with a friend from one of my courses, simply because this semester has sucked more than expected, and we really need a stiff drink. Hah! We had a test on Wednesday for the course we share, and lets just say that it didn’t go down too well.

More Uni stresses, though. I haven’t quite finished an assignment yet. It’s due tomorrow afternoon. I don’t have much to do, just writing out some answers that I already have and making some summaries for it. Hopefully I’ll be able to finish it by the morning.

I had quite a nice afternoon. I tuned into the RadioxShow this afternoon. Elyse was hosting, which was particularly lulzy, and I enjoyed myself. James wasn’t really getting it, and was almost ready to hand over his headphones for me to use. Haha!

my paid posts are going well over at Sewwy.com. Hopefully my payments will start coming through, because money is getting quite tight :( I’m looking forward to being back in Sydney, to be honest… At least I won’t be paying for food! I fly back on the 30th of June, and I can’t wait! I’ll be doing a lot of partying and drinking and fun stuff whilst I’m over there, which I’m really looking forward to. :)

I need to go and apply for second semester courses now. :o!